I'm so tired of money troubles I could just scream!! I've always had to struggle, ever since I was a child, but I was always okay somehow. Everything turned out fine. When I met my husband, we each had a lot of debt, and were forced into bankruptcy when we found we were so broke we were paying bills with credit cards just to avoid being late. We had scratched and saved and pinched every penny we could before then, even selling our car and giving up everyday things we considered luxuries. We had to struggle to get back out of that hole, but it slowly happened. When hubby got the job in California, it seemed like things were finally going our way.
Then he got laid off, rather suddenly. With no warning, we were forced to move again, to scale back our lifestyle, only farther than we had before, ever. That turned into a disaster as well, since the smaller place we moved into was horrible and unsafe for me and my child. We broke the lease, and moved into the place we live now. It's less than half the size of the house we owned in our home state, and with no modern conveniences. At least it's a house, and it is in a safe neighborhood, we said.
But now we're back in the same boat again, it seems. Just as the bankruptcy is about to disappear from our credit records, just as we seem to have weathered the storm, that horrible place unsafe for me and my child has now served us with papers--they are suing us for breaking our lease!
Now what? I know I don't know if they will win their case or not, but the stress is horrible. And just as we are struggling with medical bills after hubby's employer changed the health insurance they offered this year. The future looks so dismal right now I can't take it. I just can't. Why have things turned so wrong, so badly? Did we make a mistake somewhere? At the moment, in hindsight, I wish we hadn't moved to California. I hate this place. It takes so much more work to get ahead here, and life is much harder than before. It takes such great effort just to meet people and make friends, and just groceries are almost unmanageable. I hate how much insurance costs here, how much housing costs, and how the standards of living are so much lower than back home. I hate that just to be able to pay our bills that we are bound to see in the near future, we're going to have to move again to an even smaller place, if we can find one. I can't stand trying to take care of my son here, trying to keep him safe and going to a decent public school (see, no luxuries there, either), and it's almost impossible. The smallest setback here becomes a huge one. I miss having my family around. I miss nice people. I miss things being affordable.
I guess things could still be worse, but I'm tired of saying that, too. I swear, I am fed up with this city and everything around it.
No comments:
Post a Comment