Adjustments

I don't always find myself talking about good things that happen in my life.  I'm not completely sure why, but maybe it comes from a fear that people will think I'm trying to make them jealous, or just the fact that I lack a positive outlook on life.  But I need to focus more on the happy events that make life livable, know what I mean?

So, I feel bad that I haven't blogged about this before, but about 5 days ago my family adopted a new member of the family!  He's a sweet little chihuahua-dachshund mix, rescued from the animal shelter as a stray.  He's under a year old, but not quite a puppy.  Very energetic at times, but much quieter than my Pomeranian!  Hahahaha!  He's a cutie.  I'll post a pic next time I blog, since I don't have any on my computer right now.  But he has an amazingly complicated expression sometimes, like he's imagining himself in another world or something.  Just staring out the window or through the backyard gate seems like a porthole to a fantastical journey.  Other times, he has the naivete of a baby.  Just a bee flying through the air will puzzle him, and reflections in shiny objects surprise him and catch him off guard.  He wakes up in the best mood, tail-wagging and bouncy.  Maybe he dreamed of being back in the shelter or on the street, and awoke to the good news of having a real home.  I wonder sometimes.  He already learned his name, the clever boy:  Quincy.

The house is a little lighter with him here, making my other dog less lonely, and giving me something positive to focus on and enjoy, most of the time.  My medications are being adjusted, honestly.  We'll find out where to go from here, in that regard.  But it's a process, so in the meantime I'm moody and introverted.  Hopefully that will change soon.  I've been losing weight as well, but slowly.  At least I'm losing.  And I'm eating much healthier, fresher foods, and a mix of fruits and vegetables like I have never eaten.  Lots of home cooking, for a change.  And vegetarian meals, not really thinking about it.  I feel good about the changes, and I'm not really missing anything since I've added so many new things to my menu.  And I know I can have anything I want, as long as I control the rest of my meals that week, and as long as I don't do it as often as I was before.  Only one cupcake as opposed to the four or more I would have eaten in a day before.  Yep, I was out of control with food. 

So, good things happening, even though my mood isn't there yet.  At least I didn't wait for my depression to lift completely before making these changes, since I could have been waiting forever.  I am trying not to let it determine my life.  It takes effort on a daily basis.  Extreme effort.  But I am doing it, most of the time.