Since this is the only venue in which I have talked about this, where I can be as anonymous as I choose, I feel I can write about my court date today.
I want to say it went well, but nothing happened. The plaintiff did not show up. I'm not sure exactly why, but the case was dismissed without prejudice. If we had missed the court date, we'd have a judgment against us, and we'd have to show good cause to have missed the court date and have the judgment vacated. However, he can miss it completely, never show just cause, and file again. Doesn't seem fair. Maybe he just realized that he filed incorrectly, that he should have used his business name instead, and chose to be vindictive and make us show up to court. Maybe he's toying with us, harassing us in some way. It took a good deal of scheduling and coordinating to get us there, to get someone arranged to take my son to school, and get to court on time. I'm disgusted with him right now. Call him A.B. Well, A.B., we will still be prepared if you file again. We'll perhaps be even more prepared, if possible. Anything I can find, I will use.
I've also spoken with a friend of mine who claims to be more in touch with the spirit world than I. What an interesting conversation! I think I've always been in denial a bit about whether or not I possess certain abilities. I'm a skeptic, to say the least. And even though I believe in ghosts or paranormal activity or whatever you want to call it, I've had few experiences that I'm willing to call "paranormal" without a doubt. Most experiences I've had, I've doubted. But there are a few times in my life where I can't quite explain it away, and a couple of times where I felt I was getting messages.
I'm not sure, even in this anonymous environment, that I feel I can fully disclose these events. They are very personal, and they bring to mind moments of enormous grief in my life. I hesitate to dredge that up now, on a day when my emotions are so close to the surface. I can be general, though. Both of the "messages" I felt I was getting from the "spirit world," or whatever you want to call it, came right before someone close to me passed away. Within 48 hours of passing, actually. It felt like I was given a chance to say goodbye, but I wasn't sure. Now, years later, I'm sure. Recently, I've begun to feel some kind of "influence"--or something-- in my life. This conversation with a friend over coffee led me to believe I would feel cold if they were trying to tell me something. And when I was in the courtroom waiting for our case to be called, there was a chill over me the entire time. My husband said he never felt cold, and when I first walked in the courtroom, it felt warm. I could say it was my nerves or something, could keep denying this, but I could also consider the possibility that my "guides" were telling me it would be okay. It could be true, right? Maybe there are some kind of guides trying to help me in my journey, if I'll only hear them. Hmm. Makes me think. And life away from the crushing influence of religion in the South has only made me more spiritual, in a way. I've been leaning away for so long, so tired of hearing it all, so tired of everything being made to seem like God is out there, I was glad to move to a place where atheism isn't a bad word. I'm still an atheist, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to think that just because there isn't an omnipotent force doesn't mean there can't be energy out there, something that lives after the body dies. From a scientific standpoint, it makes sense. And the energy could find a way to communicate, just not as clearly as a person can, since it's not complete energy. Complete as in "energy combined with a corporal form" that makes a person able to communicate the way they do.
I digress. Starting to ramble. It's been a rough week, to say the least. And I know the whole lawsuit thing isn't over, which doesn't help. But I'll be less nervous if we ever go back. That helps. I'll know what to expect and be waiting. And I've been homesick like you wouldn't believe. I've never wanted a pair of cowboy boots so bad in my life! LOL!! I really was never a fan, but somehow I want them like never before! Hahaha! Cavender's gift card, please! :D Okay, that's it. I'll be back in a better mood after this. The boy has a day off on Monday, and I've been looking forward to time off of all the schedules. Later!
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